


My lovely dancer

by ehlena



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: F/M, Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-15 15:36:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 3,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13034199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ehlena/pseuds/ehlena
Summary: « It's a dance.It's a lie that begin with his hand on her back.It's the arrogance of her ice blue eyes.'' I don't know if it's a good idea. ''(he was never a good dancer) »- A secret santa gift for asexualjedi





	1. The tigress

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like it, and I would like to say sorry in advance if there are strange formulations in it, I'm francophone and English is my third langage :)
> 
> Merry Christmas !

He likes to imagine she’s a tigress he needs to tame.  
Something wild, pure, untouched.  
Something to be moulded with his bare hands.  
Strentgh, courage, determination.  
How could he help her keep this spark, while making her inoffensive ?

(short answer : he can’t).


	2. The silence in her mind

She never thinks about him.  
(that’s a lie ; he’s all she ever thinks about)  
She never thinks about him, but if she does, she would think about how much he gets on her nerves.  
Always better than her.  
Always so sure about everything, yet so unsure at the same time.  
It’s bad, he says. It’s bad, and bad, and bad, and it’s always forking bad.  
But he never, ever, tells her when something is good.

Fork.


	3. The Bad Idea

It was November, or at least he thinks it was, for there was no real way for him to know that. Time seemed to pass normally there, but he didn’t know if the calendar was reseted as they were, and the mere idea that time did go by without him noticing was enough to make him anxious. 

According to Michael, that was also the reasons there was months, and years, here in the Good Place ; because humans, he said, tended to go mad when they couldn’t understand how much time has passed. And it seemed normal, after all ; days, and nights, are all too similar in here, and when he thinked about the fact that it had been decades since his death, he feeled like he was going to fall of a cliff.

Anyway, it was November, and appart from the little calendar on his desk, he wouldn’t have noticed. No snow, here ; the temperature was warm, as always. He wondered if there could even be rain. 

He met with Eleanor at the little coffee next to their house ; she took her black, he took his with almond milk, as always. Then, as if it was her duty to break his routine and to make him panic, she asked him if they could celebrate Christmas.

‘’Christmas? Why would we celebrate Christmas ? I’m not even religious.’’

He took a sip of coffee. She was just being childish again. They were trapped in hell, with demons who wanted to torture them, and their only chance of salute was a thousands years old guy that doesn't seem to grasp the concept of humanity. Gift and cinnamon and Santa Claus were really not a priority in his opinion.

‘‘Dude, what the fork ? You’re literally in heaven. Well, in Hell. Whatever.’’  
‘’Just…forget it Eleanor’’.

And with time, conversation goes on. That girl was so dispersed he knew she would forget about that stupid idea sooner or later. Better sooner than later. Drinking his coffee, he tries to ignore the pout on her face, and goes on with discussing some insignificant detail about his human life. She doesn't listen.

(like she ever listened to him)


	4. Teaming up

Now that they knew about the Bad Place, and that Michael was teaming up with them, ethics class took a lot more of place in their life. Every day, or almost, they joined in Eleanor, or Tahani’s house. At first, the feared it was going to be too obvious that they guessed the truth, but Michael had told them that in every iteration ever, they did the same thing, and that kind of reassured them. Vicky would not catch what was about to happen ; not now, at least.

Eleanor and him finished their coffee in silence, and then went to the little rende-vous. Tahani and Jason were already there, and Michael cam in seconds after them. That guy seemed to always knew when to arrive not to be late, but also not to pass a second more than necessary with them. Understandable, he thought ; he couldn't imagine how he would react if he passed hundreds of years trying to foment the perfect plan, only to be obliged to help the humans he wanted to torture if he wanted to stay alive.

He was about to start his course, when Eleanor cut him and exposed her idea to the team. Tahani seemed enchanted, as if she was already thinking of all the decorations she could install in her mansion. Jason said something about being gifted a Tonka, and he decided just to ignore it. But there it was, hiding in their babbling ; with the mere idea of celebrating, they were happy. That couldn’t work. He was not so ecstatic about the idea of being torture again, just because everyone else wanted to have a tree. And so he told the others ; but his argument didn't have the impact he thought it would.

‘’Well, actually, began Michael, we do celebrate Christmas her. And every other religious Holliday. You humans are so miserable when you’re appart from your family on those days, it’s excellent. You should haven seen the despair in your eyes when…’’

The demon seemed to notice that the humans were not so excited about the torture that happened on the last hundreds of iteration.

‘’I'm doing it again. Sorry. Anyway. It worked everytime. M’sure Vicky will want to do it again this year ‘’

‘Cause of course they would want to do the party all night. They weren’t suppose to know that they were in hell. But it wasn't Eleanor, nor Tahani, nor Jason, that had to endure needles in their face, and he was so sure Vicky would want to do that again with the fir. 

 

(fork you, Eleanor).


	5. Stop it right there

As predicted, Vicky loved the idea of a Christmas party. (‘’The Christmas tree will burn, and Tahani’s hair will burned with it’’, explained Michael). Surprisingly, even that didn't stop the group's enthusiasm. But for him, it was the proof that all this madness was going to get out of control. So how did they convinced him to decorate a tree ? That was kind of a mystery. 

Well, it wasn’t that bad. It was actually one of the few traditions he loved ; one of his girlfriends went absolutely nuts in the holiday, wanting to put ribbons and lights everywhere in the house ; but the lights in her eyes were the actual absolute perfection, and it was a happy memory for him. And this glee, he found it back in the eyes of Eleanor. Whether it was because their tree was bigger than Tahani’s one, or because he let her put the star on top of the fir, or because he even accepted to drink eggnog with her, he didn’t know. But the smile on his face reflected hers, that was sure, and when she threw him some of the popcorn she was eating, he only pretended he was mad.

‘’You’ll pay for that’’

He immediately throw some at her to, but she runs away from him, and he does the only thing that same right in the moment ; he runs after her. She laughs, and she laughs, and it only vanish when he captures her and their eyes met. Suddenly, everything his too serious. She stiffens in his arms, and he breaths, loudly. The atmosphere is tense, and charged, and he feel something in his stomach, but he is not sure what it is. He hates the unknown. She opens her mouth, looking deep in his eyes, and he doesn't know if she will talk or if she will try something else. He doesn't know if he is ready for either one.

‘’It’s late, he says, cutting every chance of conversation there was.’’.

Magic is gone, and he ignores the look of sadenness in her eyes.

(he would never admit he had fun)


	6. The what if

It's a dance.  
It's a dramatic movie.  
It's a smirk covered in blond hairs  
'' Do you want to, ya know, stay for dinner?''

It's a dance.  
It's a lie that begin with his hand on her back.  
It's the arrogance of her ice blue eyes.  
'' I don't know if it's a good idea. ''

It's a sharpenned knife between her teeths.  
It's a kiss on her cheek.  
It's a question without answers.  
'' You'll never know. ''

It's the beginning of a eternity.  
Or a moment stilled in time.  
It's a maybe  
Or it's the end

(he never was a good dancer)


	7. I'm made of ice

It was only a matter of time before death goes on and Vicky started again her little games. Lately, he was kind of safe - maybe she realized she had been too far with him, and that she needed to let him breathe if she didn't want him to realize what was going on. But then again, she was kind of oblivious about everything that was happening around her, so he could only have been lucky for the past few days.

And when she came back, she cam back with all she had ; while Michael was meticulous, and made sure he could be serious (he would never forgive him for the tramways), Vicky was a bulldozer. There was nothing subtle about her tactics, and he was kind of sure she wouldn't have lasted a day without the help of the older demon. So when the girl came to him, smiling like a child that just got a puppy, he knew he was going to have a bad day.

And frankly, he did. Vicky first told him she wanted to host a swimming competition in a few weeks, and that she wanted him to participate. He trie to refuse, of course, but that's not like she was going to accept that. That's how he landed in a cold as ice river, in the middle of the afternoon (''you need to practice''), wondering how the fork water could be this cold when he was in hell. Wasn't it supposed to be all flames and lava ? He had to admit that, 3 hours into the torture seance, he started thinking that actual torture would be better. At least, he could cry, and scream, and be miserable. Now, he had to pretend that he was really happy about the fact that he could help Vicky, and be a good athlete, while trying to ignore the fact that he had no sensations in his toes.

When he finally get to go home, he put on four lather of sweaters, and drank at least 3 cup of tea. He wanted to break something ; unfortunately for Eleanor, she decided that it was the good time to come and see him. It was, indeed, not her fault. Be she was the more faulty of them, appart maybe from Jason, but Jason was different, in the fact that he was so stupid he couldn't be bad. You had to understand to be able to be bad, and Eleanor knew what she did, but she didn't change enough. Maybe, only maybe, if she wasn't that much sociopath, he wouldn't have been paired with her, and he would be somewhere else. He knew he was angry, and it was so easy to blame it on her.

That's how a girl who just wanted to help got her heart break for the second time by the same man.

'' That's all your fault, Eleanor. Christmas, and Hell, and Ice, and Needles, and Frozen Yogurt. That's your fault. I wish you never died. No, I wish you were never born. I hope we fail, and I hope you get what you deserve in the end"

And on and on and on. For hours, he thinks. Of for minutes, he doesn't know, and doesn't care. She's gone.

Eleanor is going to be the death of him.  
(if Vicky doesn't succeed first.)


	8. The Mice and the Cat

Days passed ; he wanted to be all alone, and so he was left all alone. He didn't understood at first, what the final torture got him that much, but once he does, he was even more angry then before. Until he learned he was in the Bad Place, Vicky couldn't affect him that much ; she was just a strange girl, nothing else. Then, he knew what it was, and Michael always told them what was coming. And it was temporary, they would eventually escape. But now, more recently, he started a dance with Eleanor, and that dance gave him hope, a hope that was crushed in the dept of water, how stupid was that, but how true it was even though. 

Eventually, he still has to get out of bed, and to help his team. Because he could only goes missing for a few moments without everyone else noticing, and because it was the right thing to do, to get them all out of here. Even Eleanor. He went to Tahani's, with the intention or continuing like nothing happened to him, like he was not broken inside. He just made sure he would not be alone with Eleanor, who looked like a lost puppy. He started his class, as always, getting some sort of comfort in renewing with his favourite subject. But it was December 23th, and everybody seemed to be far more interested in Christmas than in ethics. So he decided to let go, and do a more fun type of class ; like when English teachers made them write about what they wanted, instead of imposing a subject.

'' Ok, you're clearly not focusing. Would you want to ask questions, today ?''

That certainly got their attention. Jason started ; his mind was a mystery for him, and while he wanted to help him, he was not sure how to. Like he was not sure if playing baseball was morally acceptable ; which he said, because he was never lying again. But when he asked him if basketball was, and if golf was, and if pokemon really existed, he had to admit that was a bit too much. Michael had better questions, but they were very theorical, and he wasn't sure he could answer them right away. That would take time, which he had, because, you know, he was dead. He promised some answers later ; Tahani had no question, and he could see that Eleanor wanted to ask, but was hesitating. Still angry at her, but now being her teacher, he encouraged her with a little move of his hand.

'' If a cat eats a mouse, is the action of the cat wrong ? ''

That took him appart. First, because it seemed to came out of nowhere, second, because he didn't think she would be interested in that. But mostly, it make him angry, because he remembered that she was a tigress in his eyes, and he wondered if she had guessed that, and just wanted to play with him...like a cat plays with the mouse before it eats it.

'' Cats can't be wrong, or good They are cats.''  
'' But what if they could ?'  
'' That's a stupid question, Eleanor. Ethics are based on facts, not on what if, and you would already know that if you paid a little bit of attention in my classes.''

That was unfair, he knew, for she was trying really hard, taking notes, doing all her homeworks and getting good marks. But life as unfair, he learned. He see her swallowing her pride, and she leaves, letting all her stuff on the table.

(he ignores the tears in her eyes, as he ignores the guilt that crush him)


	9. He was wrong

''Class is dismissed.''

Tahani and Jason almost run outside, clearly not approving his harsh words for Eleanor. He doesn't really care, they don't get what he feels inside. For the first time in his life, he doesn't have a clue. Not because there is no answers, not because he had to look in his books, no, he just didn't have an answer, and he wasn't really sure he had the question. But Michael stays, and that is a surprise.

'' In fact, Chidi, cats are inherently good.''

Well, that was something knew. He always thought only humans were able to discern good or bad ; but maybe he had the wrong view on this sort of thing. After all, if cats couldn't understand the difference between good and bad, they couldn't be bad, but maybe they would be good. Because, as they learned here, the intention counted more than the action, and if there was no intention, than, every actions was neutral. But that doesn't make them good. Michael seemed to read on his mind, cause he added :

''They are good, Chidi. We made them this way. They were created to help humans be more serene, and to help them with disease. They are programmed to be good. ''

Oh shirt.

If cats can't be bad, than was it wrong to try to tame a tigress ? Maybe she was the one that had something to teach him. Maybe he could learn from the way everything seemed easy for her, or from the way she seemed to see the life in pink, even when they were literally in hell. Maybe she wasn't good, but maybe she could be good enough for him.

 

But then, it hits him  
She was not a wild animal that needs to be tamed.  
She was a wheat field, those day wind whispers promises of warm, golden recolts.  
She was rain smashing on a window in the middle of a thunderstorm.  
She was the sand, dissolving in the blue, deep, ocean.  
She was a rose, torn and petal inseparabale.  
She was a lioness, and she roars like nobody else.  
She was a Queen, and he so wanted to be a king.

(so he runs)


	10. The thorn

He runs because he knows her, because she can’t take rejection.  
He runs to get to her before she chose to go far, far away, and never come back.  
(she was, indeed, not going anywhere. She may even have convinced herself she was so over it, and was currently playing darts with a certain ethic book. But that is another story.)

 

‘’Eleanor!’’

She looks at him, and in her pained eyes, he sees a chance. Where there are pain, there are feelings, and if there are feelings, then it's not too late.

 

‘’I have something for you’’

He hands a cactus, with a little blue ribbon on top. She seems shocked, and then burst in laughs. Fork. Michael had told him he associated cactus with Eleanor and he didn’t stop to think about that. It only seemed natural ; she was a thorn in is life, but he learned to love the little pain she was causing. And after all, some doctor used thorns, and needles, didn't they ? She was causing him troubles but in the end, he would get better. Still, he makes a mental note not to ever asks Michael for advices anymore. 

‘’Next time, try mistletoe, she offers.‘’

He doesn’t think he could smile more than he does now.

‘’No need for that’’.

He captures her lips, and in her softness, he finds all the answers books couldn’t give him over the course of his long, long life. He passed all his time trying not to burn himself, but she was the best kind of fire, the one which warm you on cold dark night. She was the spark of rebellion, the anticipation before a long trip, she was the first sip of coffee in the morning, and the sound of a crackling fire on long winter days. She was perfection. He planned on telling her all those things, but later. For now, he was very much happy to taste the cinnamon of her lips, and to irradiate himself in her.

(and so, they live happily ever after. Until tomorrow, at least.)


End file.
